SIN

September 20, 2008

Or better known as Strumpet in Need is a worthy cause and you gents can make a real difference! I know I know there are so many catastrophes but you all will surely agree that I represent the most deserving case! Ok so there have been a few teensy weeny storms and hurricanes this year but nothing is as urgent as support for The Burlesque Honey Disaster Fund!

Never mind pesky ill people or dolphins in trouble or even despite being a close call unemployed brokers! There is the Honey Needs A New Laptop Emergency Fund: Eeeeek my beloved Apple Powerbook died and in order for all your messages of comfort to reach me – a new laptop is needed urgently.

Not to mention the impending major hardship of a closet that contains less than 350 pairs of shoes! Yes, I am bearing up – just! But those massive empty gaps are a daily painful reminder of my terrible suffering of a dreadfully minimal shoe cupboard.

Even worse is the incredible lack of up-to-date handbags! I am considering counselling to help me overcome this devastating experience.

Just having to dab the corners of my eyes as the next issue is so painful but I am trying to be strong despite the terrible trauma of virtually no fragrances remaining to anoint my voluptuous astral body.

Most upsetting is an alarming decline of potions, lotions and creams to maintain that incredible soft and creamy skin!

However, all can hardly compare to the ordeal of a slow and agonising decline in fully fashioned seamed stockings, not to mention just a mere handful of Basques, suspenders or two dozen lingerie sets!

How can you help? Well, it is simply – dial 0751 808 34 48 to support my worthy campaign. Book me for an amazing hour for £180, or two unforgettable hours for £320, or add £100 for each subsequent hour. Every tribute helps this incredibly noble cause! And you know what – you will feel so much better too – in fact, I guarantee it!

Well, if you don’t have that much time for a full booking you can always arrange to stuff an envelope of cash through my letter box.  Every little bit helps….